Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Jenny Mccarthy Swimsuit

Hypothetical scenario:
You are a parent of a beautiful and healthy one-year-old boy named Charles. Baby Chuck is due for several vaccinations, included his MMR vaccine (Measles, Mumps, and Rubella). The problem is, you read in your beloved US Weekly that Jenny McCarthy's son got autism from the MMR vaccine. Your California raw vegan yoga-doing detox and Botoxing mom friend (Barbi) has read Jenny McCarthy's book, and says it's really true...that the shot caused her son to develop autism, and that no children with behavior problems should eat wheat or eggs or consume dairy because Ms. McCarthy states that a special diet cured her son from autism.



Barbi swears that once her short two year old stopped consuming dairy, she grew taller.

Because you are a smart parent, you decide to investigate this further. You search reliable medical sources, and learn that virtually every large, randomized controlled clinical trial has shown absolutely no link between vaccinations and autism. You also learn that the doctor who published the first study linking vaccinations with autism not only had just a few autistic children in his study, but that his study was funded by the the lawyer who was supporting the children who developed autism in court. You think this may count as a conflict of interest. In fact, virtually all reputable scientists or organizations (i.e. the CDC) believe that there is no evidence that vaccinations cause autism, and just a few days ago a consensus statement was released. Click here to read about it. You also discover that since Ms. McCarthy's rampage on vaccines, enough parents have chosen not to vaccinate their kids so that diseases that essentially were eradicated are now coming back (measles, whooping cough...)

So given this information, what do you decide to do with little Chuckie?

A. Since US Weekly is your Bible and you know they would never publish anything false (that's for OK! and the National Enquirer), you refuse the MMR vaccine for Chuckie despite his pediatrician's strongest warning. After all, the medical profession is filled with assholes who just want to make everybody sick so they can make more money. And you want to be more like Barbi. She's soooo pretty.

B. You refuse the shot AND you put Chuckie on a wheat-free, dairy-free diet. Jenny McCarthy says that he will grow taller and be smarter if you do that. That Jenny McCarthy is so smart. And she was a Playboy bunny, which is secretely your dream job. Oh Heff...

C. You reluctantly get the shot for Chuck, but you tell Barbi you didn't. You REALLY want to be her friend. She's so pretty.

D. You can't believe Americans can be so naive. Of course you're going to vaccinate your kid. You remember from your basic science course in high school that correlation (i.e. an increase in vaccination correlates with an increase in autism) does not equal causation (i.e. an increase in vaccination CAUSES the increase in autism). After all, you know from your research that kids tend to start showing the signs of autism around the time that kids get vaccinated. You believe that the foremost autism experts in the US are really not out to make kids get autism by not promoting the special diet. And you weigh the benefits vs. costs...and somehow, having Chuckie be completely unprotected from measles, mumps, and rubella is worse to you that the risk of the vaccine (which study after study has shown to be essentially none). And Jenny McCarthy? I mean, of all people to listen to medical advice from. You'd even take advice from Paris Hilton over Jenny McCarthy. At least she didn't MEAN to have her sex tape released, which Jenny McCarthy posed naked willingly for moolah (not that you judge). Sure, Barbi appears to be the perfect mother and all, but she's actually bulimic and smokes a pack a day and used to be fat until she had $47,000 worth of plastic surgery. As for her kid on the special diet, yes she's grown in the past year. But what two year old without a serious medical condition DOESN'T grow in a year? And how could stopping your child from eating dairy HELP her grow? Sure, everybody knows removing Vitamin D and Calcium from a kid's diet is the way to a career in the NBA or WNBA. And you've learned never to follow medical advice in US Weekly. Some of the bad advice they gave you...don't drink water because it dilutes stomach acid so it stops you from digesting food, you should eat 1,300 calories a day like Alicia Keys, you should take a walk before you eat because it oxygenates your body...and thus you passed out on the side of the road, dehydrated and starving, on one of those oxygenation walks. You can't believe you feel so passionately about this topic, and write in your blog that parents should not listen to former Playboy Bunnies and fricking vaccinate their kids!

And now I will leave you with some intelligent and insightful comments from Miss Jenny McCarthy:

"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away"
"I was a puke brunette"
"I think the whole computer geek thing is totally attractive...I mean, like all I`d get is total obedience."
"I don`t sleep in anything. I have to be nude, and if I`m not, I end up ripping my clothes off in the middle of the night."
"I’m a businesswoman in public and a total slut in the bedroom."
"I love Botox. I absolutely love it. I only get it minimally, so I can still move my face. But I seriously think that it's a savior."
"So, basically, I don't know what I'm talking about. But maybe I do."