Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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